2016 goals and the somehow successful debacle that was last year

Can I make resolutions for the new year when it's only October?? It's just that...I somehow did a decent job with last year's goals (despite feeling like a mess) and I'm already ready for the next round.

This year was huge for me. I came back from three months in Europe and then traveled to Iowa City, Denver, and Austin for a month. I tried to make up my mind about where to live and traveled between Iowa City and Denver something like six times. I lived on my dear friend April's couch intermittently for six plus months and that alone was an experience I could write about for days. I finally settled into a job and found a three month sublease. I moved into a beautiful interim apartment for one month before settling into my first one bedroom apartment this month. Between all this moving business, I traveled to Italy, France and Argentina and hosted Lucas in Chicago and Denver. I volunteered at the Denver Botanic Gardens, the Denver Public Library and Lighthouse Writers Workshop. I TA-ed for my favorite poetry professor. I got promoted at Anthropologie during this time but have also been declined from more 'dream jobs' than I could ever imagine. I restarted my yoga practice and am getting back to being somewhat buff after eating all the donuts in Austria.

My goals for 2016:
1. Take a completely solo trip abroad. (Not to see a bf😁) Places on the radar: Iceland, Mongolia, Tanzania, Brazil, back to Thailand, back to Paris, back to Amsterdam.
2. Read and write for 10min each day.
3. Master cooking five dishes.
4. Live in a different U.S. city (NYC) and/or abroad.
5. Work in a university or teaching setting.
6. Develop a conversational proficiency in Spanish.
7. Apply to grad school.
8. Continue to volunteer.
9. Make my apartment super cutie but maintain a minimalist lifestyle.
10. Careeeeeeer--continue to figure and try not to stress.

YAY GOALS AND LISTS AND FALL!

10 shopping tips for the indecisive or impulsive on a budget...

Some things I've learned in the past couple months of frugal living.

1. If you buy a piece of clothing and don't wear it within 24 hours, you're not inspired enough. Take the item back immediately and have no remorse.
2. Don't ever buy anything that doesn't fit your body in that moment. If it's too big or too small, easy decision, don't buy it and don't regret it.
3. Never buy anything that an old version of yourself would've loved. I recently found the perfect hat for Sonja of two years ago--she would have worn that hat into the ground. But Sonja today doesn't wear hats and because I didn't wear it within 24 hrs, I followed my own advice from tip numero uno. It was painful; that hat was truly beautiful, but it's just not right to buy things and not use them.
4. Conversely, if you're ever at a store, find something, decide to wait, and are still thinking about said item a week later, get your ass back to the store and just buy it and love it forever.
5. If you don't feel like yourself in what you're wearing, take it back or donate it immediately. Whether you're dressed up or dressed down, the most important component of personal style is the "personal" part. Every time I buy something, I ask myself if it's the most "Sonja" thing I've ever worn in my life. If the answer is yes and the price is close to zero dollars, I go for it.
6. A white shirt can work wonders. This tip is really just all about basics. The perfect white tee can work with anything. Jeans, fancy pants, scarves, necklaces, dressed up, dressed down, unlimited silhouettes and guaranteed swagger from being sooo-o-o-ooo comfortable. Which leads me to...
7. Comfort rules all. If your new garment is itchy or digs into your skin at the wrong angle, (however beautiful!), it's not worth it and should be returned immediately. This also goes for any sort of outfit or garment that needs consistent adjustments while wearing. Do you have to constantly tug at the hem, or fix the fit? NO, don't do that to yourself. Life is just too fucking short, my people.
8. Don't buy fake leather shoes or shitty quality anything. I have a tough time keeping track of where my clothing comes from or if anything is "ethical" to buy anymore, but I have learned how to recognize quality fabrics and leathers, both at the thrift store and in stores. Paying attention to quality and exclusively buying these items ensures that everything you own will last almost forever and you won't end up spending a fortune on stupid things you don't need.
9. Which leads me to...take care of the things you have. Just like with your hair, you don't need to wash that pair of pants every day you wear them. Just don't and see what happens. Nothing happens, you just wear the pants again and everything is great. Don't throw your clothes in a pile on the ground at the end of the night. Have some respect and appreciation for the beautiful thing you just bought for gods sake. You're lucky to even be able to buy anything at all.
10. If you do choose to buy something, make absolute certain that it is either functional or fills your life with so much joy that you can justify that decision.

Being more intentional with what I buy and don't buy makes me feel like a better and more clear minded person. I still struggle with donating items I don't use. I still struggle with impulse or straight up dumb shopping decisions. But I am doing my best to live more simply without clutter and all the extra baggage of S-T-U-F-F.

BONUS TIP!

GIVE GIFTS!!!! Do you own something that you know someone else would love? Are you not so inspired by said item anymore? Give it away! It feels awesome to give thoughtful gifts and I always feel better knowing a friend is benefiting from my "what were you thinking" pile.

New Years progress

No need to read this folks, I'm just making lists again for my own records. Aside from New Years resolutions, I've made one of those 'Accomplishments Jars' where you just toss in the cool things you've done that year and get all the warm fuzzies at the end of the year instead of being sad for not accomplishing any goals. I'm actually doing alright with my goals though, so I figured I'd log that before the year goes to hell.

1.  Stop looking at my phone before bed. Not yet.
2.  Live alone. Not yet.
3.  Get a job. Yep.
4.  Travel to another country (South America???). I've traveled to Italy and France this year.
5.  Volunteer for a writing non-profit. I've been volunteering at Lighthouse Writer's Workshop in Denver and I love it. I also added the Denver Public Library to the mix this year.
6.  Get back into yoga. I started with a month but now I have to sign up for more. 
7.  Move to a different U.S. city. Not yet.

I wrote those goals down on the blog but my actual goals, written in a different notebook, are as follows:

1. Sleep. Sorted.
2. Skin. I'm trying.
3. Yoga. Started.
4. Job. Sorted.
5. Water. Ongoing effort.
6. Simplify relationships. Sorted.
7. Live in a different city. Not yet.
8. Go abroad. Sorted, but would like to go to a country I've not yet been.
9. Write more. Kinda. I've been writing quick blurbs on my Instagram account about travel experiences and though it's not poetry or journalism, it does feel like a slight accomplishment.
10. Read more books/poetry. Yes. Read Nocturnes by Ishiguro and am currently slugging through 1Q84 by Murikami. Also, Carl Sandburg's Chicago poems and started Boyhood by Coetzee.
11. Live alone. Not yet.

Change...

Change is gonna come.

Funny how life goes....before I had nothing going for me in the U.S.  No job prospects, nothing to do. The help of beautiful friends and family was all that was keeping me alive and motivated.  A $30 month of unlimited yoga didn't hurt those productivity vibes.

But here I am, from zero to two jobs, three volunteers posts, and a shorty trip abroad booked as a reward for getting through these months of fear and doubt as an unemployed person, burnt out and broke from years in school, months of backpacking about Europe, and the months to follow living out of two duffle bags in the U.S., bouncing from home to home  I think my problem was that I was looking for the "right" job.  Something that fit me perfectly.  I've written some of the most beautiful and inspiring cover letters out there.  I've revamped my resume endlessly.  I've searched countless job search websites looking for "it," the perfect job.

But then I got desperate.  No money means no travel, no home of my own, and a cloud of debilitating fear.  And that is just a terrible feeling.  So, I stopped caring so much and just worked every day to send in at least one resume each day to places that inspire me, even just slightly inspire me.  Because who the hell cares at this point?  I'm passionate about a lot of things, and once I can start putting myself into different job situations, I know I'll sort out the dreaded career stuff.  For now, though, my bills need payin' and I gotta get back to a somewhat normal Sonja way of life.

Who knows, maybe the past months have been a kind of normal for me.  I'll always be a bit of a vagabond.  When I showed up to April's place, I was wearing sweatpants, socks and flipflops, and was hauling two duffle bags with a blanket around my neck.  April buckled over laughing, but I think the past year has given me such a variety of living situations that I'm not even phased by the crazy that comes along with it anymore. Liminality is my lifestyle and I may as well buckup and enjoy it while I can get away with it.

Valentines

Jazz, ice cream sandwiches and solitude to ring in this years Valentines Day, a 'holiday' I'm fairly neutral about.  It's rare for me to be alone in the apartment for an extended period of time, but April is galavanting in the mountains and I'm here to hold down the fort and get back into this Denver life. I'd first planned to get the heck out of Denver and stay out, say so long to my problems by running like hell. But the city itself is never the problem and I've been coaxed back by a support system I never fully recognized or appreciated until now.  So, Denver it is for the time being, even if that means my mind is often oceans away, always ready to jump at the chance to see more and live in ways I've always feared.  I can't help but feel that ants in my pants, edge of my seat anticipation of future travel, but I must say, Denver is treatin my right at the moment.