Saturday, November 9, 2013

Vent like a motherfxcker...

Okay, this is about to get whiny.  And pathetic.  And sad.  And dumb.  And I hate everything.  And everyone.  Except that everyone is awesome and I mostly just hate myself.

You know that feeling where you just want to scream?  And cry?  And punch all the happy people in the face one by one.  Line em up.  Line those smiling faces up because I'm feeling slap happy.

I know this feeling.  I know this time of year.  I know that this is the way that I get.  Some idiot decided that 5pm was a great time for nightfall and this idiot decided that taking four literature courses at the same time was totally manageable and would be great fun.  "Sonja, the Bible is so interesting and cool and you really need to know this information!"  "FXCK YOU, SONJA.  'Bible as Literature,' my foot!  This piece of 'literature' is total crap and I want a refund."  I just wish that with this much experience, I would be better at coping with the stress that comes with this time of year.

I know that breaking up with the most significant boy of my life, moving, dealing with normal life things that aren't that big of a deal but let me tell you grocery shopping is THE HARDEST FXCKING THING TO DO and WHY will my feet not warm themselves up when I'm sitting alone in bed--I know that these things are not the easiest to deal with in the middle of the semester.  But life happens in the middle of every semester.

It helps to write out my thoughts.  It helps to talk to three different girlfriends and my mom in one day.  It helps to know that this time of year tends to creep up on everyone and if it doesn't, get in that row of happy people so I can slap you but really.

I'm glad you're happy.  And I'm actually a little more happy myself, because I'm starting to think that it's okay to feel not okay, especially during this time of year.  And hey, ya know, the Bible is really not so bad.  And grocery shopping is actually pretty fun.  And my new roommate cleared an entire shelf so I could line up all my boxes of tea and tea cups and holy shit will you look at those yellow trees outside my window and I just can't wait to yoga with my favorite teacher tomorrow and wow, I love my family so much and life!  Life is just so good it's not even funny.