Control...

I've been finding out more and more lately that I like to be in control... OF EVERYTHING.  Ugh.  That's not a good thing and I've tried to mellow out and be more like The Dude in The Big Lebowski so I can go with the flow like I imagine a better version of myself could do.  BUT, this quest to be mellow is definitely a work in progress and I still tend to FREAK! when stuff in life is out of my control.  What to do, what to do??
1.  CALL MY MOM.  WAHHHH!!!!!!  Seriously.  I usually call my mom for some sort of inspirational talking-to and feel-good vibes all around.  The lady is a saint and almost always makes me feel better or at least pushes me in the right direction.

2.  TALK TO FRANDS.  When shit hits the fan I usually turn to a few people from Iowa to give me a better sense of home and who the heck I am and who I'm trying to be... reality-check-style.

3.  BE NICE.  Doing something nice always makes me feel nice.  Getting together Lyn's belated bday presents has made me feel nice today because I'm trying to make her feel nice.

4.  GET MY SHIT TOGETHER.  When nothing else works and I feel the worst like I have today, the only thing I can really do is let myself feel the blues and then move on and clean the house or do some homework.  I've tried the whole wallow in my pain and self-pity thing and it just sucks.  There's no way to get out except for giving myself little tasks to do... so, no matter how horrible I feel about myself I can at least feel good about a clean counter and one less chapter of The Iliad to read.  Here's to a better day tomorrow.